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9S7 -- Montana's Missouri Breaks
> The History Of The World...
> For those that don't know about history . Here is a condensed version:
>
> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
> hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
> and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
> beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
> to the beer. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and
> together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
> distinct subgroups:
>
> 1. Liberals, and
> 2. Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
> of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can was invented
> yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to
> be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages
> were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
> while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
> as the Conservative movement.
>
> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
> off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
> the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
> Liberal movement.
>
> Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
> known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
> domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and
> the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
> beer that conservatives provided.
>
> Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
> powerful land animal on earth... the elephant. Liberals are symbolized
> by the jackass.
>
> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
> white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
> beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food is standard liberal fare.
> Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have
> higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
> injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
> therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
> because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and
> still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo
> cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
> police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the
> military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.
> Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
> work for a living.
>
> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
> and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
> are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
> remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept
> in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get
> more for nothing.
>
> Here ends today's lesson in world history:
>
> It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
> respond to the above before forwarding it.
>
> A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
> truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
> true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.
>
> And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your position.
> For those that don't know about history . Here is a condensed version:
>
> Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
> hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer
> and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
> beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
> to the beer. These two were the foundation of modern civilization and
> together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
> distinct subgroups:
>
> 1. Liberals, and
> 2. Conservatives.
>
> Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning
> of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can was invented
> yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to
> be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages
> were formed.
>
> Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
> while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
> as the Conservative movement.
>
> Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
> off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing
> the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
> Liberal movement.
>
> Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
> known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
> domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and
> the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
> beer that conservatives provided.
>
> Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
> powerful land animal on earth... the elephant. Liberals are symbolized
> by the jackass.
>
> Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
> white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
> beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food is standard liberal fare.
> Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have
> higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
> injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
> therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
> because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
>
> Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and
> still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo
> cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors,
> police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the
> military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively.
> Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to
> work for a living.
>
> Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
> and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
> are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals
> remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept
> in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get
> more for nothing.
>
> Here ends today's lesson in world history:
>
> It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily
> respond to the above before forwarding it.
>
> A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
> truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
> true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.
>
> And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your position.
