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Math of Life

AlaskaAV

GONE WEST
Mission, TX
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the
ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They
stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
 
Very funny (and true). I think I'll show this one to my wife!

Well. . . . . maybe not. :bang
 
Good one Ernie

Ernie - How can we pick on you, when you keep coming up with these funny storys?
 
Nice. Wasn't that etched on the third tablet that Moses dropped and shattered? Or was it written by Solomon? :lol: :lol:
 
Re: Good one Ernie

Bill Ingerson said:
Ernie - How can we pick on you, when you keep coming up with these funny storys?

Gee Bill, I have tried to post only stories that wouldn't give anyone a reason to pick on me. :wink: Only captains do that to new hire first officers or an unnamed specie sitting in the back seat of a Cub or car.

There are some really bad stories that I could post but why? We all know what they would be like so I, or my pea brain, chose to only remember the good things.

:cheers
 
OK ladies, we have several opinions from men so how about your comments if these suggestions are correct?
 
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