How hot do these things get?
quite hot if it is the wrong one. a Master rely should have about 3 -5 ohms minimum across the coil leads. a starter relay will typically be 1 or less. the master needs to be a continuous duty type relay, the start relay is intermittent, so it can be a higher draw, which creates a larger pull in force (to minimize burning the contacts... remember, the master is already closed when the starter engages, so the is no arcing there). if your "master" is so hot that it hurts to touch it, it is the wrong type, and probably wired wrong as well. as for the diode.... there are 2 reasons to install a diode.... spike suppression and reverse polarity protection. neither are required by regulation (on main power, but yes on ground power). so how hot does it get?