Hiya CubChaser -
As the kiddies like to text...LMAO!
(*)
I know many of you might find it hard to believe:roll:...but I actually have been summoned to the Chief Pilot's office for the obligatory "carpet dance"
three times already for my...uh...shall we say...the "creativity"
I have displayed in my cabin announcements.
My all time favorite
is one I usually use about 2/3rds of the way into a cross-continent flight, when I know the passengers are getting restless and tired of being cramped up. I put on my very BEST "Yeager" airline pilot voice
(See Tom Wolfe's "The Right Stuff") and....
"Uuuuh...ladies 'n gennlemens...aaah...from up here in the Command 'n Control center...this...IS yer' Captain speaking. I uuuh...I under
stand that some of you were inquiring as to our position an' how we are doin' up here. So-o-o I thought Ah'd jus' let'cha all know...uuuh...we're a'sittin' up purdy straight an' doin' jus' fine. Thank yuz fer asking!" (click)
Of course, after about three seconds, I then get back ON the P.A. an' give 'em the straight skinny.
Generally, I make a total of either four or five announcements from the (company mandated) Pre-departure at the gate, to the (again company mandated) "Buh-bye Announcement" (Uuuuh...Ladies an' Gennlemens...frum up here in the Engine Room...) required somewhere between the TOD (top-of-descent) and top-of-sterile cockpit (10,000 ft. MSL) depending on the length of the flight.
Three Chief Pilots over the course of my "airline pilot career" have all taken pains to point out to me
during my "counseling sessions" that the company Flight Operations Manual DOES CONTAIN "suggested" formats for the required announcements. Mostly just FOR people like me.
I have every intention of reviewing those at some point. ;-) Maybe for my "Retirement" flight?? Naaah. I really don't see THAT happening!
Cloud(THISizyer'CAPTAIN8)speaking)Dancer
(*) Wouldn't it be so COOL if one really
could laugh their way to a SMALLER ASS!? I'd be skinny as a RAIL again!