Thanks Thanks:  0
Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Passport Application

  1. #1
    Patrol Guy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    east of the river
    Posts
    1,664
    Post Thanks / Like

    Passport Application

    ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER SENT BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT


    Dear Mrs. Ms. or Sir:

    I am in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.

    How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.


    For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of computers?


    My birth date you have in my social security file. It's on EVERY
    income tax form I've filed for the past 50+ years. It's on my Medicare health insurance card and my driver's license. It's on the last eight damn passports I've had. It's on every stupid customs declaration form I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane for the last 40+ years. And it's on all those census forms that we have to do at
    election times.

    Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is MaryAnne, my father's name is Robert and I'm reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now and when I die.

    Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic bullshit!

    You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my damn address!

    What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic
    Neanderthal morons working there!

    Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? And "No," I don't want to dig up
    Yasser Arafat, for Christ sake! I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.

    And would someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

    Well, I have to go now because I have to go clear to the other end of the city and get another damn copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $35 just so I can make application to renew my passport.

    Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the same area so I could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require planning and organization, something too logical for the government! You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off. Then, we'd have to find some asshole to confirm that it's really me in the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not
    allowed to smile..By the way, you know why we can't smile?

    We're totally pissed off!

    Signed

    - An Irate Citizen.

    P.S.: Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the picture is me? Well, my family has been in the United States of America since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 35 years and have had
    security clearances up the ying yang.. However, I have to
    get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor.. WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA!

    And you assholes want to run our health care system.


    Likes Hardtailjohn, skukum12, TurboBeaver liked this post

  2. #2
    Herc's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Big Lake, Alaska
    Posts
    55
    Post Thanks / Like
    That's the best damn thing I've read all day!!

  3. #3
    Eddie Foy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    3,274
    Post Thanks / Like
    Won't do you any good. You will just die all pissed off!

    Eddie
    Likes Richgj3 liked this post

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    402
    Post Thanks / Like
    …"And you assholes want to run our health care system?"

    Mr. Citizen please calm down and don't abuse me or I'll have to call Security. I'm just trying to determine of you are safe enough to drive an airplane. Safety First is our goal. (Well, actually it's Children First). We just want to make sure you don't fall asleep when you fly.

  5. #5
    WhiskeyMike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    West Boxford MA
    Posts
    860
    Post Thanks / Like
    Unless you're here illegally, then all is fine. No worries. We'll send a para professional to fill it out for you. For free of course (Free to you, not the taxpayers)

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Xi‘an city china
    Posts
    231
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by WhiskeyMike View Post
    Unless you're here illegally, then all is fine. No worries. We'll send a para professional to fill it out for you. For free of course (Free to you, not the taxpayers)
    Hi,WhiskeyMike,I am in America,where r u?

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Xi‘an city china
    Posts
    231
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by WhiskeyMike View Post
    Unless you're here illegally, then all is fine. No worries. We'll send a para professional to fill it out for you. For free of course (Free to you, not the taxpayers)
    Contact me:+86 18609482381

  8. #8

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    Malmö - Sweden
    Posts
    1
    Post Thanks / Like
    I'm happy I found this forum! Very fun to read and watch!
    Likes eskflyer liked this post

  9. #9
    aktango58's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    18AA
    Posts
    9,000
    Post Thanks / Like
    I tried to file for food assistance once. Was in my 20's, no savings, busted up knee so could hardly walk and could not work, (commercial fishing at the time). filled out all the paperwork, but by the time they reviewed it and let me know that I had missed a check mark for something trivial, it was past the due date, which meant I had to wait another month before a new application would be valid and they would offer assistance.

    I said my peace, that the idiot bureaucrat getting paid daily even if he accomplished nothing was holding up helping someone that could not afford to eat that had never asked for assistance before.

    Needless to say, my solution was to find myself a job that I could sit at the whole time, they knowingly hired me as a cripple for just above minimum wage. I was able to eat so all went ok until I healed.

    Moral of the story: if you depend on the government to help, you have already lost. Any comments to them concerning their lack of effort is like a drop of water falling on a whale's back.

    Good luck getting your passport.
    I don't know where you've been me lad, but I see you won first Prize!
    Likes Hardtailjohn, skywagon8a, silflexer liked this post

Similar Threads

  1. cheap & easy passport
    By jr.hammack in forum Experimental Cubs
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 01-25-2007, 11:17 PM
  2. Butyrate Application
    By Cliff in forum Tips and Tricks
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 04-17-2004, 08:16 AM

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •