What's the diff between a duck & a co-pilot?
The duck can fly.

The diff between a stewardess & a jet engine?
The engine quits whining when it gets to the gate.

Wow, that landing was a 9.5! (on the richter scale)

Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance.

A check ride ought'a be like a skirt.
Short enough to be interesting, long enough to cover everything.

Hey, if you ain't having a Merry Xmas yet, get with it!