ATC cannot deny you permission to enter a Class D surface area. They (ATC) don't get to approve or disapprove airports, they only manage TRAFFIC OVER TOP of the ground.
I don't know what the rules are, but as noted, there are a BUNCH of private, not FAA approved, not charted, airstrips within Class D surface areas that I'm familiar with. I'm fairly certain the ATC chief didn't "approve" any of those, and some of them, he didn't even know were there.
You will have to establish two way radio communication with the ATC facility, but they WILL NOT clear you to land or takeoff, because you are not operating at their airport.
It would certainly be best to work with the ATC folks, to develop intelligent and safe operating procedures, and that's why I'd want the facility chief involved. I guess if he's dragging his feet, I'd call him up, invite him to a cup of coffee or a beer off duty, and explain to him that you are GOING to operate a strip, but you would really, really like to work WITH ATC to develop safe and good operating procedures. If he doesn't understand that what that really means is that your presence can be intelligently directed by ATC, or you can just get clearance to enter their surface area, and go where you wish.
Any intelligent ATC type is going to work with you to avoid conflicts.
This can be done, as it is in FAI, by establishing different traffic pattern altitudes for different runways, moving traffic patterns to one side at one runway, and the opposite at the other, to establish "unofficial" approach and departure corridors, and so forth.
In Kodiak, the city airport and Lilly Lake, and the Harbor all lie just within the Class D surface area. Instrument approach procedures go right past there. At one time, ATC worked with local pilots to develop a "shoreline clearance" which allowed VFR traffic to come and go within the surface area, when conditions were below basic VFR, even with airplanes on the approach IFR. A pilot had to get a copy of the procedure and sign a statement that they are familiar with it, but that was it.
ATC should be HAPPY to work with you to make the airspace the safest it can possibly be, and that's the way I'd approach them.
Show me an FAR that says ATC has the authority to deny clearance into or out of a Class D surface area.
They will have to deal with you, better to do so up front.
Now, if there is a city or municipality involved, the ATC chief could go to them and suggest that your operation would pose a safety risk to "their" airport, and traffic. If he or she did that, I'd be on the phone to the Administrator's office, as well as my Senator's. Point is, I think it is in everyone's best interest to work out some safety solutions, and get on with it.
If he has questions on how it works, have him call Kevin Haines, at FAI Tower, (907) 474 0050. They deal with this all the time, and there are a few warts, cause there are so many players and so many fields. But, IT WORKS, every day.
MTV