Holiday Humor

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

*The facts and opinions in this post are not necessarily those of the poster. In other words...it's just a joke. :lol:

Yeah, but it takes nine of them to do it. :lol:

nkh

Nine, I always thought there were ten reindeer?

Nathan, it takes all those females b/c he didn't do a weight and balance and he's way over gross!

But it takes eight of them to make that Rosey Red Glow! Damn, Rudolfh really did have them by the horns... :lol:

Did you all hear about the FAA Checkride Santa had to take?

The FAA Examiner showed up, watch Santa carefully plan his trip, calculate weight an balance, check the Wx. They went out to the old sleigh, and Santa did the best preflight of his life: Double checked all the harnesses, made sure all lights were operating, sumped all of the bladders, rocked the skis to get the frost off, and deemed the old sleigh airworthy and ready to go.

He told the Examiner, "We are all ready, lets load up". At this point he notices the Examiner is packing a 12 gauge shotgun. Santa says: "What the hell is that for". The Examiner said, don't worry I am not a terroist, and I wanted to keep this a secret, but you might loose an engine or two on takeoff!!

I bet Santa gave him a chunk of coal for Christmas.

Cub_Driver

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I got it with a couple more sentences....

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna' lose an engine on takeoff."

"Did you bring a parachute?" asks Santa.

"No........why?" Asks the now somewhat apprehensive Fed.

Santa answers with a twinkle in his eye, "You guys tried that last year and the examiner's gun went off prematurely, he missed. Scared the hell out of the reindeer. We got inverted and the examiner fell out. He was last seen trying to use one of Barbie's 'sock hop' dresses for a parachute. But its your call......"