Jerry Gaston
Registered User
Bozeman, Montana
Lets see if this works: >Montana Tourist Information Guidelines
>
>Due to frequent misunderstandings when Easterners
>cross into our state, the
>Montana Tourism Council adopted a set of guidelines
>in an effort to help
>outsiders understand Montana. The following list
>will be handed to each
>driver entering the state:
>
>1. That rancher standing next to the barn did more
>work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym
>
>2. It's called a gravel road. No matter how slow
>you drive, you're going to
>get dust on your Navigator. I have a 4-wheel drive
>because I need it. Now drive or get out of the way.
>
>3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were
>seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
>
>4. Any references to "corn-fed" when talking about
>our women will get your butt kicked---by our women.
>
>5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Roves Fly Rod. Just
>don't cry to us if a massive trout breaks it off at the handle. We have
>a name for those little guppies you fish for---bait.
>
>6. Pull your pants up--you look like an idiot.
>
>7. If that cell phone rings while a herd of elk is
>approaching during hunting season, we will shoot it. You might hope
>you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
>
>8. That's right. Whiskey is only 5 bucks. We can
>buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
>
>9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu.
>Order steak. Order it rare. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
>off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
>
>10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be
>brown, wet and served over ice.
>
>11. So you have a $60,000 car you drive on
>weekends. We're real impressed.
>We have quarter of a million dollar combines we use
>two weeks a year.
>
>12. Yeah, we eat Elk. Deer too. You really want
>sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
>
>13. They are cattle. That's what they smell like.
>Get over it.
>
>14. Yes, every person in every pickup waves. It's
>called being friendly.
>
>Understand the concept? Now enjoy your visit and go home!
>
>
>
>
>Due to frequent misunderstandings when Easterners
>cross into our state, the
>Montana Tourism Council adopted a set of guidelines
>in an effort to help
>outsiders understand Montana. The following list
>will be handed to each
>driver entering the state:
>
>1. That rancher standing next to the barn did more
>work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym
>
>2. It's called a gravel road. No matter how slow
>you drive, you're going to
>get dust on your Navigator. I have a 4-wheel drive
>because I need it. Now drive or get out of the way.
>
>3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were
>seven years old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
>
>4. Any references to "corn-fed" when talking about
>our women will get your butt kicked---by our women.
>
>5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Roves Fly Rod. Just
>don't cry to us if a massive trout breaks it off at the handle. We have
>a name for those little guppies you fish for---bait.
>
>6. Pull your pants up--you look like an idiot.
>
>7. If that cell phone rings while a herd of elk is
>approaching during hunting season, we will shoot it. You might hope
>you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
>
>8. That's right. Whiskey is only 5 bucks. We can
>buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
>
>9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu.
>Order steak. Order it rare. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick
>off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
>
>10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be
>brown, wet and served over ice.
>
>11. So you have a $60,000 car you drive on
>weekends. We're real impressed.
>We have quarter of a million dollar combines we use
>two weeks a year.
>
>12. Yeah, we eat Elk. Deer too. You really want
>sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
>
>13. They are cattle. That's what they smell like.
>Get over it.
>
>14. Yes, every person in every pickup waves. It's
>called being friendly.
>
>Understand the concept? Now enjoy your visit and go home!
>
>
>
...my dad, brother, and I are leaving for Miles City on Thursday night... 
Does it work on Senator from Massachusetts
