You might be a redneck pilot if:

[Tango Cub]

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK PILOT IF:
1. Your stall warning plays "DIXIE."
2. Your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
3. You think sectionals should show trailer parks.
4. You've ever used moonshine as AVGas.
5. Your 172's wheel pants have mud flaps with a chrome silhouette of a reclining nude.
6. Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
7. You've ever taxied around the airport just drinking beer.
8. You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.

9. You use an old sweet mix sack as a wind sock.
10. You constantly confuse "Beechcraft" with "Beechnut."
11. You've never flown a nosewheel airplane.
12. You refer to formation flying as "We got us a convoy."
13. Your matched set of lightweight flying luggage is 3 grocery bags from Walmart.
14. You have a gun rack in the rear window.
15. You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling on.
16. You figure mud and manure in your weight and balance calculations.
17. You siphon gas from your tractor to go flying.
18. You've never landed at an actual airport even though you've been flying for over 20-years.
19. You've ever ground looped to avoid hitting a cow.
20. You consider anything over 100-ft AGL as High Altitude Flying.
21. There are parts on your aircraft labeled "John Deere."

22. You don't own a current sectional, but have all the Texaco road maps for your area.
23. There's a brown streak down each side of your airplane; exhaust on the right side and tobacco on the left.
24. You have to buzz the strip to chase off the livestock before landing.
25. You use an old parachute for a portable hanger.
26. You've ever landed on Main street for a cup of coffee.
27. The tread pattern, if any, on all three of your tires is different.
28. You have a pair of fuzzy dice and some small copper shoes hanging from the Magnetic Compass.
29. You put straw in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
30. You've got matching bumper stickers on each side of the vertical fin.
31. There are grass stains on the tips of your propeller.
32. Somewhere on your plane, there's a bumper sticker that reads "I'd rather be fishing."
33. You navigate with your ADF tuned to only AM country stations.
34. You think an ultra light is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
35. Just before the crash, everybody on the UNICOM frequency heard you say, "Hey Y'all - - Watch this!"

[phdigger123]

I was worried until I read #13. I always use Fleet Farm bags, much more durable.

[RanchPilot]

One of my favorite threads.

http://www.supercub.org/forum/showth...dneck-Pilot-If

Here are a few more, most of which are not aviation specific, but funny nevertheless:

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15 You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car (airplane) will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck (airplane) does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean?

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23 You have a complete set of salad bowls
and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

[skywagon8a]

I had to wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes in order to finish reading those gems.

1. Your fancy soup tureen is an old Revere Ware pot.

2. Your old toilet is in the front yard with plants growing in it.

3. Your fine art sculpture in the yard is an old rusty wheelbarrow.

[j5mike]

You use a shotgun to trim the tree branches for better satellite reception. (true story, my neighbor did it.). The same one that has a coon dog chained to every available tree.

[Phillip Elgin]

The salvation army has refused our furniture!......we jus went back and left it after dark.

[RanchPilot]

When, in response to a question about pest control inside the house, you ask them to be more specific about which incident and caliber they want to know about. (I know several true stories on that one)

[Mark Cav]

# 26, I have been to Beaumont,Kansas. Does that count?

[LoriF]

Good stuff! Phillip, you sneaky devil you. I like your style

[SteveE]

You leave your soiled jeans on the ramp and jump back in your plane and fly naked....................Your damn sure redneck....

[True North]

You leave your soiled jeans on the ramp and jump back in your plane and fly naked....................Your damn sure redneck....

Blahahahahah !!!!! I've got a catch in my side from laughing so hard!!!

[Phillip Elgin]

Well, that actually happened in mississippi so its ok.

[OLDCROWE]

Well, that actually happened in mississippi so its ok.

So you're saying (if your from Alabama) is ok to shat on Mississippi?

[aktango58]

When were you in Mississippi BigE?