Sorry for the subject but I figured it would gather your attention. In light of all the theft subjects, and accidents I figured everyone could use a little of this...
Today, I received control of a shiny new (old) Citab GCBC for the school. After I get a plane I will go wring it out a little and make sure I know all the quirks and then I will turn it loose to the instructors and students. Tonight was no exception. This aircraft was like all the other ones except 31's and vg's. Nice plane. So, I grab the key, unlock the door, throw the key on the dash, jump in and take off. No problem. Steep turns good. Stalls good, everything is great. Nice plane. Then I notice the little placard that says, "This aircraft certified for acrobatics." Now that is a attention grabber. This could be the end of this boring check out. This could be the answer to a otherwise long day. Finally, I am in a acrobatic certified aircraft. So I look at the small print and it says spins use slow entry?? Loops use 145 mph, barrel rolls us 60 mph or at least thats what I thought it said because it was a dark outside. My thinking was, "oh the hell with it I will do it my way." This is where the action started.
The first thing I would do is a spin or two or three. A couple spins to the left and a couple to the right made me feel pretty invincible. So I figured a couple of steep pull ups with a hammerheaded thingy would be kinda cool. Maybe one them chandelle, razor s back things were in order. Anyhow, about that time I managed to get the darn thing all the way on its back or at least that is where I thought It was because it was still dark outside and I couldn't really see anything. This is where it got a little weird. You know that red instrument post light thing that shines light on the instruments?? Well, it did a good job of illuminating the key I had on the dash as it went straight for my right eye. The pain was incredible. I saw my life flash before my one good eye. The dirt in the bottom of the airplane flashed like glitter before it went up my nose and in my other eye. Luckily I couldn't see outside anyway as that probably would have scared me to death. I would have screamed but it would have been just a puff of dirt. This is kind of where I asked myself, "self, what in the hell are you trying to do?" Then it all became clear to me. I need a vacuum and some safety glasses.
Sorry it is the best I had and yes, most of it is a lie, right?
Someday I will tell you the story of the PA-11 and my loss of pants.