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Thread: I lost my Dad...This is tough!

  1. #1

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    I lost my Dad...This is tough!

    Well guys I lost my Dad last Wednesday and tomorrow starts the formal farewell of one Helluva nice guy and one Helluva aviator!
    He was my best friend and he knew it...This is probably one of the toughest things I have ever done..
    I did want to share with all of you my Super Cub buds a letter that I wrote to my Dad and gave him about 4 months ago...If you have not let your Dad really know how you feel do so..As it is a tragic loss to go through!

    Dad,

    Sometimes we think the cards are not in our favor and sometimes they are indeed a royal flush. I have wanted to tell you something for sometime.
    When my brother and I were kids I remember you telling me one time, when I was bragging about some goofy thing or another. You said “ Sam, if you think people will miss you in life then stick your hand in a bucket of water and however long it takes the water to fill the void where your hand was is how long you will be missed” I remember thinking “ Wow, that’s not very long”
    Well, let me set the record straight you were wrong!
    Dad, you are the greatest Dad anyone could ever want. You taught us and me so much about life. You have been an inspiration to me! From the time I was a kid you always said “You can do anything you put your mind to!” and there is “No such thing as can’t “. Those phrases have formed my entire life and will continue to do so as I live out my life! Something that will never be forgotten and hopefully passed on!
    You have not only been a great provider for us when we were growing up but you have been an excellent role model.
    We have always had a great run at life and many great talks. You always kept our lives full and involved with our activities, Camping, Boy Scouts, Ducks, Dogs, Pigs, Boating, Fishing, Working on Cars, saving my bacon from many of lifes escapades and even Flying!! Wow, I could go on forever and ever.
    You have taught us simple things that are essential in life, the meaning of our personal word as a key of trust. Always have a solid handshake and always look another in the eye.
    Now, as you battle health concerns you continue to be an inspiration with your positive attitude and fortitude.
    I thank God that we were all made a family as I know that I would have missed a lot if I was not born into our family.
    The lives that you have touched through your life reach far, whether it is in business or personal, many have been forever changed by your presence and by knowing you.
    You always taught us so many things that have been an impact on so many. Your lessons to us are multiplied by the people who our lives have touched. As we have spread our lessons from you to others that know us.
    Dad, I cannot write in a page or in thousand of pages what you have taught me or the experiences we have lived together. They are experiences and processes in life that you have taught me and formed who I am as a man. They are things that I will live with forever. No matter what happens to you or me I wanted to let you know you will always be with me however the football is passed. Yes, you have indeed made an impact on so many and I know for a fact that thing about being missed is not true.
    I love you Pop and you will always be “My Dad” and you will be missed by me and many others forever!
    Love always,
    Sam




  2. #2
    WWhunter's Avatar
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    Sam,

    My sincere condolences. My dad is 77 and I had to take him to the hospital last week. Luckily everything is okay but I know that someday he will not be here. All I will have is the memories.
    Best wishes to you and yours.

    Keith

  3. #3
    Taledrger's Avatar
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    Sam,
    My deepest condolences. I lost my Dad a year ago February, I feel your pain. It happens to us all someday but words can no convey the feeling.
    Glad you got to tell him how you felt. I'd like to tell you it gets easier but it hasn't for me yet.
    All the best, I'm sure he was proud of you.
    Bob D

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    marc's Avatar
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    sam,My deepest conolence my father 72 iam trying to spend as much time with him iam rebuild my tcraft with him it make him happy i just want to fly with him as much as i can before it too late.marc
    t-cart n43643

  5. #5
    JoeW's Avatar
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    loss

    Sam,
    I am so sorry. Nothing shakes us to our core than losing a parent, our biggest fans. I'm glad you had the forethought to let your dad know how you feel. I'll be praying for you

  6. #6
    OldCuby's Avatar
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    Sam,
    You have my deepest sympathy in this period of grief. That is a moving letter to your Dad. I lost my Dad 3 years ago; he was 93. It's as if they will live forever which makes it even more difficult to see them go. He always wanted a ride in my Cub but declined because he did not want to travel because of health the distance to the airport. However, I promised him (and my mother) that I would spread their ashes from the Cub over the Shenandoah River, where he used to often fish, and which I've yet to do.

    Something to think about for the upcoming Fathers Day, June 17.
    Jim Newton
    --------------

  7. #7
    CloudDancer's Avatar
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    Hi Sam -

    What a wonderful thing to share with us. Thank You. Indeed the teachings and lessons of a great father led to a great son and his letter.

    I have spent the eleven years since Poppa CloudDancer died working and stumbling through life and into my early approaching "Golden Years" trying, thus far unsuccessfully to be half the man that he was.

    I was fortunate to spend the last week with him until the Lord pulled me out of the room for just a moment. When I cam e back HE had taken Dad home.

    For some reason. Around nine or ten years of age....boys stop touching each other for the most part. (Think the movie promo poster for "Stand By Me", the four young boys walking down the railroad tracks with their arms around each other.)

    And at some point, many, if not most boys enter a phase where hugs and kisses from Dad are replaced by a handshake or the ol' "check on the shoulder."

    So it was with I and my father for about a decade and a half.....'til one time.....in a burst of youthful stupidity and stubbornness I stayed away too long.

    When I finally showed back up at the old homestead....not knowing quite WHAT kind of reception I'd get.....my father looked at me....grabbed my arm and pulled me into his huge strong arms and gave me a bear hug and a big wet kiss on the cheek and said " Don't you ever....EVER stay away that long from us again." And for the rest of our lives, until he died at age 76....just as I had when I was a kid, a goodnite, goodbye, or welcome home hello....forever and always came with a hug and a kiss. What anybody else thought be damned.

    What I wouldn't give.....just to be hugged by my father one more time.

    I told that story as part of my father's eulogy and encouraged all men in the church to think about that. Maybe there is someone they would want to go home and hug.

    Sam, I apologize for pouring this out in your thread. Your letter ...you know....

    Life is so very fragile people. Don't ever take tomorrow for granted. Don't ever take someone you care about for granted .....and don't ever ever assume that someone should know how much you love or care for them.

    Tell them....often.

    God Bless you and your family Sam, and again my apologies for the intrusion but my gratitude for your sharing.

    CloudDancer

  8. #8

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    Sorry Sam. I dread that time more than anything else. Sometimes I even think I'd rather go first, just to avoid the heartache. Dads 65 and runs traps with me, mainly by snowmachine. Hes in remarkable shape considering he had his prosate removed two years ago. I bet he wouldn't be too far behind me to the top of Flattop mountain, about 4K'. I was doing ok till cloud dancers input. Yea, wow, how much better can it be put. Read it again. In fact, print it and tape it somewhere you'll see it everyday. Been a while since a big hug with Dad. I'm going to do it tomorrow. Geez, out of the three last visits to Supercub, two ended in tears!
    TrapAk

  9. #9

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    Sam,

    My dad died in February. Dads are irreplaceable.

    Condolences.

    David

  10. #10
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    Couldn't have been done better!
    Marine Corps Aviation since 1966

  11. #11
    SteveE's Avatar
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    Sam,
    Time makes it easier, but for the rest of your life you will wish he was there. I feel that way about my Grandpa. My condolences.

    TrapAK, I know what you mean.

  12. #12
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    Sam,

    My sincere condolences. Your father sounds like a great man.

    sj
    "Often Mistaken, but Never in Doubt"
    ------------------------------------------

  13. #13
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    Sorry for your loss Sam. Hang tough! We'll keep a good thought for you and you dad.
    Joe


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    Cajun Joe's Avatar
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    The conversations we have are so vivid that I
    no longer resent awakening alone.

    Joe

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    12Geezer2's Avatar
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    Condolences Sam--Lost my Dad in 1971. I still miss our mule deer hunts and listening to his fiddle playing. Geezer Dan

  16. #16
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    Sam-

    As you have read here in the past posts you are not alone in you loss, I lost my dad 5 years ago and there are days that the " could have should haves " enter my mind, but remember through you and your memories of him he will live on for years to come.


    Blue Sky's

  17. #17
    JP's Avatar
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    Here's to the Dads. Our thoughts are with you.
    JP Russell--The Cub Therapist
    1947 PA-11 Cub Special
    www.bloomerrussellbeaupain.com

  18. #18
    Mathew Sharp's Avatar
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    Re: I lost my Dad...This is tough!

    [quote="Sam Beckett"][color=blue]Well guys I lost my Dad last Wednesday and tomorrow starts the formal farewell of one Helluva nice guy and one Helluva aviator!
    He was my best friend and he knew it...This is probably one of the toughest things I have ever done..
    I did want to share with all of you my Super Cub buds a letter that I wrote to my Dad and gave him about 4 months ago...If you have not let your Dad really know how you feel do so..As it is a tragic loss to go through!

    quote]

    Here is to telling people how much you care about them!

    My condolences Sam.

    I lost my dad in 1994 at 49 years of age in an accident. I would give anything to tell him what you did. Great work!

  19. #19
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    Sam sorry for your loss. My Dad passed 18 yrs ago the day after Father's Day. It wasn't until he passed that I learned that engines don't always quit when I reached for the gear handle. I remember him rolling my butt out of bed at 2am to mow the lawn ( by flashlight) because I didn't do it during the day. Would give anything to do that one more time.

    I'm glad you got the chance to give him your letter. So many people don't get that opportunity.

    Dave

  20. #20

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    Sam...

    Sam,
    I'm so sorry for your loss, and I know exactly what you feel. I lost my Dad May 4th, a month ago. Words are not adaquate in times like this, but you have lots of friends who share your pain.

    Mike

  21. #21

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    Lost my dad many years ago but..........

    Sam,

    I am very sorry for your loss. I can only say that you and I must have somehow had fathers from the same era. My dad told me the same things and darned if it didn't sound like my dad saying those things in your letter!

    And this is tough and I won't try to say differently; my dad was killed in plane crash when I was 17. That was 47 years ago last April 16 and it seems like yesterday. I still miss him and his great wisdom.

    My prayers are with you and God bless!

    Burl

  22. #22
    Calvin Brandt's Avatar
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    Sam:
    Hope to meet you some day Sam. Sorry to hear about your Dad. Sounds like you both had a great relationship. I am sure your dad loved to read this letter. I am sure he read it more than once. All the money in the world could not replace this letter you gave to him. You showed him great honor.
    Cal

  23. #23
    Anne's Avatar
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    My condolences to you Sam, and all the rest who have lost a parent. My folks are in their early 80s, and I feel so fortunate to still have them. Think I'll go call them and tell them that right now. Thanks for the reminder of how quickly time goes by us.

    Anne.
    Baloney is still baloney, no matter how thin you slice it.

  24. #24

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    Sorry to hear about your loss Sam.

  25. #25
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    Sorry for your loss sam.Relish your memories.You have been a fortunate man to have such a dad.

  26. #26

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    My condolences. Just got off the phone with my 82 year old Dad and invited him for a 10 day trip to Minnesota North Woods cabin near Ely. He can't fly in the SC with me due to health, so my sons will drive him. We will catch walleyes and small-mouth, listen to the loons, do a couple of shore lunches, and otherwise enjoy God's good earth.
    Make each day count-- It is a gift !!
    Steve J

  27. #27

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    I Lost My Dad

    Sorry for your loss Sam.It's great that you had such a relationship with your Dad.I lost my dad over twenty years ago.He was only 55.We were always close.I think of Him all the time and I smile.I know it would mean a lot to him that I do.

    Sincerely, Bill Belmore

  28. #28

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    Sam
    Its been 6 years for me, and I'll just say that something I read recently kind of summed up what my dad was for me, and what I'll be for my kids if I do it right. This may sound kind of weird, but when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. The writer said:

    "A father is the anvil upon which children hammer out their deal with the world."

    Meaning that all the strength it takes to put up with a kid's dumb mistakes and keep them going in the right direction, believing in them when there is no visible reason to, being the adult and having to take a bite out of the s*** sandwich without responding in anger, always helping them to grow strong and learn to find the answers for themselves preparing for the day when old dad isn't there anymore.

    That's what being a dad is all about.

  29. #29
    Steve Pierce's Avatar
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    Well put Noel. My biggest fear is losing my Dad or my son. My Dad and I didn't get along to well when I lived at home but now that I live 500 miles away hardly a few days go by that we don't talk on the phone. I have several friends who have lost their Dad's, some at a very early age. I take comfort in knowing my Dad is only a phone call away. I feel for you Sam.
    Steve Pierce

    Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
    Will Rogers

  30. #30
    Torch's Avatar
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    Sam it is tough losing your Dad. I lost mine in 1991. I wish I had written my father a letter like that. For those of you that still have your fathers it would be a great idea for you to sit down and write a letter like Sam did. Some of us wish we still had the chance to do so. Don't do it for yourself. Do it for your Dad. If any of you haven't flown with your Dad in your airplane, DO IT. My father wanted so bad to fly with his son but his health would not allow him to do so. He enjoyed fishing and I can only imagine how much he would have enjoyed riding in the float plane with me to go out trout fishing. So if you still have your father take him some place in your plane and MAKE A MEMORY.

  31. #31
    George's Avatar
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    Sorry for your loss Sam. Seems like yesterday that I lost mine. Best times we had was taking trips to visit his sister or my brother in the 172. Good memories ...

  32. #32
    Dave Calkins's Avatar
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    Sam, condolences for your loss of your father. Thank you for sharing the reminder to let our loved ones know how important they are. DAVE

  33. #33

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    Thanks to all of you, my Dad had a great send off and a graveside service with full military honors, Taps, 21 Gun Salute and honor guard folding his flag..
    Very sad day for me and it has been a very tough week!!!! I break into tears just thinking how much I already miss him!!!
    We would sit down and talk for hours about our flying escapades! Now to realize I cannot call him or talk to him again is just a tough one!
    Thanks for all the great letters and thanks for all the support!



    Sam



  34. #34

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    Torch,

    Thick you said it perfectly.

    Sound Wisdom.

  35. #35
    WindOnHisNose's Avatar
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    Sam, I, too, send my deepest condolences for your loss. I think your dad did a mighty fine thing raising a son who can compose such a sincere, caring letter to his father. As a father, myself, I can only hope that my kids will be able to say the kind of things about me that you are able to say about your dad.

    Randy

  36. #36
    dave's Avatar
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    Hi Sam, As I think about it, almost every time we got together you talked about your dad... it was always clear you had a very special relationship. Cherish the memories and keep his spirit alive. Godspeed to both of you.

  37. #37

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    I hate to dig up such a sad thread...but I first want to express my sorrow to you Sam. As I read your letter in June, you helped me to realize how fragile life can be...As I prepared to travel to South Dakota to visit my parents in July, I took to heart your letter. As you know time is precious. Sam I don't know you...but thanks for sharing. I returned to Alaska after spending one of the best summers ever with my parents...and especially with my dad. Mom and dad planned to come visit in this fall...Dad really wanted to ride in the new super cub. On the morning of August 7th, I found myself gasping for air as I was trying to process the news that my dad was gone...he was my hero...my best friend...and just one great guy. I sure miss him! I have many times now caught myself dailing his number..just to fill him in on the latest. We talked almost every day. Dad was a road builder, a mechanic, and spent many years in construction. There was nothing he couldn't fix...In fact our last conversation was on the 6th...as we discussed fixing the o-rings on my clevlands...

    I sure appreciate the many friends here in Alaska who have shown support, and those in South Dakota that are looking in on mom...

  38. #38
    Mikey's Avatar
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    Ron,
    I lost both my parents in 2006. Mom totally unexpected, Dad was with a sense of joy and relief that his suffering was over. Can't say one was any easier that the other though. It's just tough. I hope many will read what you and Sam have put before us and not delay or miss a chance to tell your loved ones how much you care.
    Regards
    Chris

  39. #39
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    As Sam and others have said, Take the time now because tomarrow may be to late. Like many others I too lost my Father, unexpectedly on Dec. 23rd 2000. My boys were at my Mom and Dads for the day as my wife and I Christmas shopped in Minot, we stopped by to pick them up at 5pm, as I stood there in the door way waiting for my kids to get ready I heard dad in the office and thought about running down and BSing while waiting, but decided not to because I'd be back tomarrow night for Christmas eve supper and gift opening with my family and parents and would have plenty of time to talk then. We got home at 5:30pm and the phone was ringing when we walked in, Mom was on the phone saying we had to get to Minot right away, Dad was enroute to meet the Life support Helicptor out of Minot. My father was gone after battling adult asma for 13 years at the age of 60. I think of him everyday and still get angry with myself for not taking the time to say Hi, when in 30 min. I'd never get to again.

    Brad

  40. #40
    this would be a title NimpoCub's Avatar
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    I'm on my way tomorrow to say hi/bye to my Dad.

    He's been in a care home for a couple of years & is just waiting to die. His mind is still sharp, but his body is withering away. Doc says he'll be gone in a week. He knows this & is at peace w/it.

    It'll be tough to say bye, but it's been expected for some time & thus will not be the shock as if his passing was sudden & not expected. It has occurred to me that it will be a recurring sadness to know he's not in this world anymore. Phone calls were "OK" but he enjoyed emails & pix more.

    On a positive note, Mom is very active & enjoying life. In fact she will fly back from Prince Rupert (just S. of the Ak panhandle) where she's visiting baby sis.

    [sigh] Life has these speedbumps.
    Nimpo Lake Logan... boonie SuperCubber
    200mi (300km) from nearest stoplight... just right! - "Que hesitatus fornicatus est"

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