Terror at the Gates

After suffering through reams of discussion of Bernoulli vs Newton I think it's time to return to the real world of present day flying and passenger boarding at our airports...
I thank my good friend Tom Eiermann of Top Gun Aviation in Hammond for sending me the following news release..........
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NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a Calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he
believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did
not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction. "Al-Gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said.

"They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go Off on
tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x'
and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they
belong to a common Denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in
every country. As the Greek used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every
triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction,
He would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent
or profound statement by the president.

Cajun Joe
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4 - BLUE

Grooooan!!!!

Good Un, Joe!!

MTV

I knew it!!! Algebra is nothing but trouble! :roll:

6 short said:

Grooooan!!!!

Click to expand...

Ditto!

HA!

I wonder if I'm next on the list?

When I was very young, I was captured by a wild tribe of English Majors during a raid on my small Minnesota village. They took me before their leader, a short, pipe-smoking balding creature they called "Professor". They raised me as one of their own, teaching me their strange ways. I survived by snatching unwatched pizza slices and stealing beers from inebriated upperclassmen, always, in danger of their hazing wrath. I always had difficulty communicating with them; I tried to tell them of dozers and graders, and they always thought I was referring to someone who slept too much, or something to reduce cheese to a more manageable size, respectively. Their womenfolk found me quite interesting, of course, when compared to their braves. It was Hell.

After years of servile duty as an "undergrad", slaving away on arcane research projects and mind-numbing rote lessons in chemistry, I was banished to Darkest Alaska when they found me with a "hunting/trapping/sport fishing" license tucked into the pages of a Winchester brochure. . . (gasp! HEATHEN!)

Even now, after all these years, I'm frequently called upon to translate Yuppie into plain English, owing to my knowlege of their bizzare language and odd culture.