View Full Version : Revere Thy Elders
03-19-2006, 09:25 PM
Another Birthday has come and gone....
At this stage of life no longer a celebretion, but merely a commemoration.
But yet, still an opportunity for a few chuckles, eh?
The Old Bull and the Young Bull
were walking along a plateau one day and arrived at the edge of a long and steep slope overlooking a meadow in which the froliced a dozen or so very cute heifers.
Pausing to take in the scene the young bull pranced back and forth, lustily eyeing the herd. He pawed and the ground. He snorted. He bellowed.
He looked over at the old bull for a moment to find him standing stock still except for the slightedt movement of his old bearded head as he gazed longingly first at one heifer , then the next.
The young bull ran to the other side; pawed snorted and bellowed yet some more. Like a kid with a bagful of candy on Halloween he just didn't know where to start!
Yet there stood the old bull, seemingly rooted in place; still surveying the gathering of females in quiet contemplation.
Finally, unable to take it any more; in a burst of hormonally frustrated impatience the young bull rants 'Hey, OLD MAN!! Why don't we RUN RIGHT DOWN THERE and HAVE us one??!!" :x
To which the Old Bull quietly responded " Why don't we WALK down....and have them ALL!!" :wink:
03-19-2006, 10:26 PM
As is said - I'm not as good as I once used to be but, I'm as good as I used to be.... once.
Two bulls - perhaps the same two - were hanging out in the pasture one day when a truck & trailer pulled into the farm yard. In the trailer was a tremendous amount of noise, dust and commotion. Before the gate could be opened, the side burst open, and a huge, horned head protruded. A massive Hereford bull was bareley contained by the trailer. The springs creaked, the tires squatted, the sidewalls groaned. This bull was, in a word, collossal.
The cows were all in awe of his masculinity. The old bull was simply terrified; his prime fighting days were long in his past.
The young bull, while somewhat smallish in stature, tossed his horns in the air and snorted loudly. He bashed his head into the fence, and tossed dirt far and wide with his front hooves. He bellowed strongly in challenge, daring the new arrival to step forth from the trailer and face him.
The old bull, knowing the youngster to be a peaceful, tender young stud, attempted to counsel him. "Son", he said, "do you see the size of that SOB? You won't live five minutes after he gets into this pasture!"
"Oh, hell," the young bull said, "I know that. I just want him to know I'm a bull, and not one of the cows!"
Good to see you back. We are giddy with anticipation for your next story...
03-20-2006, 06:18 PM
Great to see you back Clouddancer. Write like you never ever wrote before! Write like it is your first time with a pen in hand to tell a story!
03-21-2006, 03:47 PM
Well...Howdy fellas....and Thank You for the friendly responses to my return from the wilderness.
I have indeed missed ya'll and spent the last two days getting caught up on the forums. And while I am so happy to spot many familiar avitars, I was absolutely stunned and heartbroken to learn of Ernie's passing. I know you all knew him much longer than I did, but there is always a special spot in Alaskan's hearts for fellow Alaskans; and it seems bigger the farther back in Alaska's young history you were there.
So sorry to bring up such sadness in the post, but I would be remiss not to note as I did in the other forum that it was reading Ernie's stories that inspired me to write mine.
SPEAKing of writing.... JeeZ Bob!! How ya' doin'? Go easy on me pal. LOL. I don't know for sure WHAT I may still have to offer in the way of humorous writing. I might be able to come up with another chuckle or two for you my fellow gravity defyers; but I'm not promising any real belly laughs. You may have already seen my best stuff.
But in an attempt; (at the order of my sawbones when I went to get my physical renewed yesterday) to somewhat moderate my usual OVER indulgence in all things enjoyable; I shall spend more of my spare time with the keyboard in front of me rather than a sixteen oz. glass of one of Jamaica's finer exports mixed with Coke.
Starting........TOMORROW!! After all, you can't just RUSH into things.
This will no doubt cause distress, if not outright panic amongst the covey of comely and nubile cocktail waitresses, bartenders, and strippers :crazyeyes: who rely on me to pay their college tuition.
I shall therefore attempt to cull what is left of my memory for what few gems and junk I can piece together to get one more decent story starting on...oh,....Thursday. .
03-21-2006, 08:25 PM
Ha HA Ha...
... (Hot babes) that appreciate you to pay their college tuition! LOL Yeah, I saw some of those types in Coastal Flats tonight....
I'm doing good, CloudDancer. All is well. Hope same for you, that you are
No rush, no worries, take your time, at your pace.....ok, it is just good to hear you are back.
I started to bust your chops and end this post with something like: Ok, but just hurry up and write something, dangit!
But true creativity rebels against any schedule but the personal schedule, any demand but the internal demand, (don't we all know!)
You did what was just fun (though surely that took lucid hard work) for you, and wowed us before. That was great.
03-22-2006, 06:41 AM
Write on Clouddancer, Write on!!! Rick :D :D :D :D
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